Are Good Choices Selfish Choices?


This week we are discussing an issue with Dr. Jane Rubin that many clients face: whether the “good choices” they make for themselves are “selfish choices?” It turns out that, for many, the distinction is not always so clear and this is the cause of considerable anguish.

How Would You Define Good vs. Bad Choices?

I don’t have a one-size-fits-all definition of good and bad choices.  My role is to help people come to their own decisions about the choices that are best for them. One stumbling block that…Read More

Can Low Self-Esteem Cause Depression?

Depression and low self-esteem often go together. However, it can be hard to determine whether low self-esteem is the cause of an individual’s depression or the result of it.

How Would You Define Low Self-Esteem and Depression?

People with low self-esteem are very critical of themselves. They see themselves as fundamentally inadequate compared to other people.

People who are depressed suffer from a consistently low mood. They feel hopeless and pessimistic.

Often, low self-esteem and depression go together. People who are depressed often blame themselves for their depression and…Read More

Managing Anxiety About The Future

Almost all anxiety is anxiety about the future. We worry about what’s going to happen to our health, our jobs, our relationships, and a myriad of other things. However, most anxiety is rooted in our past experiences. It is not a realistic appraisal of what might happen to us in the future.

Why Do Clients Come To See You for Anxiety?

Clients come to therapy because they’ve been unsuccessful in trying to manage their anxiety on their own. As soon as they stop worrying about one thing, they start worrying about…Read More

Can My Past Keep Me From Making Good Choices in Life?

People who struggle as adults with whether or not they are making good choices in life need to look to their past, such as childhood issues connected to their families. I provide several examples of these issues, with the details changed to protect confidentiality.

How Would You Categorize these Problems?

I would establish two broad categories for the kinds of problems I see that hinder my clients from making good choices in life. They are:

Category #1:  Parents Who Are Too Hands-Off

Many people feel directionless because they grew up in…Read More

Is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Making Me Depressed?

Are you depressed but don’t know why?

Your depression may be due to past experiences you thought were inconsequential but were, in reality, traumatic for you.  You might be experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Or your depression may also be the result of other kinds of trauma that are less dramatic but no less painful.

What is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression?

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder occurs when people are exposed to an extreme external stressor, such as actual or threatened death, injury or sexual violence. You can also…Read More