Obstacles to Making Good Life Choices

People often have a sense of failure when they make important life decisions that don’t work out as they hoped they would. But blaming yourself often prevents you from recognizing the real obstacles that get in the way of good decision-making and taking appropriate steps to overcome them.

Have you been seeing this trend in your practice?

I wouldn’t call it a trend. I think there are always a fair number of people who are struggling with this issue. But the way they struggle with it varies…Read More

Trauma and Adult Depression

Adult depression often has its roots in childhood trauma. One misunderstood symptom is dissociation and how it affects people with trauma.

What is Dissociation?

Technically, dissociation means detachment from physical or emotional reality. Many people are aware of more extreme kinds of dissociation like depersonalization, derealization, or dissociative identity disorder (“multiple personality disorder”). However, a much more common form involves detachment from one’s feelings. I think most of us dissociate to one degree or another at times. Yet, people who have experienced trauma often protect themselves from painful feelings by dissociating…Read More

Shame and Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is more than just feeling nervous around other people. It’s a problem that often originates in early experiences of shame. That’s why we are talking today with Dr. Jane Rubin about social anxiety and what people can do about it.

How Does Shame Connect With Social Anxiety?

People with social anxiety don’t just feel bad about something they’ve done, such as making an awkward remark in a social situation. They believe something is wrong with them, at the core of their being. They also believe that other…Read More

Are Good Choices Selfish Choices?


This week we are discussing an issue with Dr. Jane Rubin that many clients face: whether the “good choices” they make for themselves are “selfish choices?” It turns out that, for many, the distinction is not always so clear and this is the cause of considerable anguish.

How Would You Define Good vs. Bad Choices?

I don’t have a one-size-fits-all definition of good and bad choices.  My role is to help people come to their own decisions about the choices that are best for them. One stumbling block that…Read More

Can Low Self-Esteem Cause Depression?

Depression and low self-esteem often go together. However, it can be hard to determine whether low self-esteem is the cause of an individual’s depression or the result of it.

How Would You Define Low Self-Esteem and Depression?

People with low self-esteem are very critical of themselves. They see themselves as fundamentally inadequate compared to other people.

People who are depressed suffer from a consistently low mood. They feel hopeless and pessimistic.

Often, low self-esteem and depression go together. People who are depressed often blame themselves for their depression and…Read More