A sense of direction is easier to come by if your parents and teachers encouraged you to find out what you’re good at and what you like to do. Unfortunately, parents often have very specific ideas about who their children should be that don’t match who their children actually are. If this was the case for you, it may be a struggle to get yourself out from under the weight of parental expectations and find the direction that’s right for you.On the other hand, some parents are very hands-off. They don’t want to feel that they’re forcing their children onto any particular path, so they don’t provide any direction at all. This can leave you feeling lost. It can also make you feel that no one cares enough about you to help you figure out who you want to be in life.What do people who struggle with finding direction in life have in common?I think there are two distinct groups of people who have trouble finding direction in life. One group had parents who had very specific expectations for them, which they were unwilling or unable to meet. If your parents needed you to be a doctor, and you had no interest in or aptitude for medicine, you may feel like a failure if you don’t become a physician. You may force yourself to pursue a medical career, even though it isn’t a good fit for you. You may keep yourself from finding out what you really want to do, because you feel like you’ll be a disappointment to your parents, if you don’t do what they want you to do.The other group had parents who were very hands-off. These individuals grew up having no idea what they like, or what they’re good at. You may have tried a lot of things when you were young—sports, music, computers—but gave up as soon as they became difficult for you. Finding a direction in life requires having adults who believe in you and encourage you to keep trying to get better. If you don’t have these kinds of experiences, you can easily come to believe that you don’t care about anything, and you’ll never be good at anything.If you couldn’t find direction growing up, how can you find it in adulthood?One way to find direction in life is to look back and identify some of the things that you enjoyed doing when you were young. Did you like making things? What did you like to make? Did you enjoy reading? What did you like to read about? The next step is to think about the adult versions of these activities. What do you enjoy making or reading about now? Are you interested in architecture? Engineering? The arts? If you liked reading about other cultures, are you interested in working in other countries? International business? The Foreign Service? Working for an NGO?Once you identify your interests, it can be enormously helpful to find a mentor who can help you refine your sense of what you want to do, develop your skills, and move forward. A good mentor can provide what your parents and teachers didn’t—a strong sense of who you are, and the confidence to move ahead.When you’re struggling to find direction, is there a way to be okay with uncertainty? I think it’s really important to develop the capacity to be comfortable with uncertainty. Questions about your life direction can feel very urgent, and understandably so. The clock is ticking and you want the answer right now. But if you become too impatient, you may not give yourself the opportunity to really find out if a particular direction is right for you. If you go into everything you do worrying about whether it’s the right path for you, you aren’t giving yourself the opportunity to become immersed in it, and see what it really feels like to you. You often have to do things for a while, before you know whether they’re a good fit.How can you recognize the right direction for you when you find it? Not only does it feel right in the moment, you also see what steps you need to take to move forward. You see that you need to go back to school to get a particular kind of training, or that you need to get a different job to acquire a new set of skills. When you encounter roadblocks on the path, you’re motivated to work to overcome them. Instead of feeling stuck in an unsatisfying present, you can see a satisfying future unfolding before you.Feeling uncontrollable anxiety regarding your life's direction? Click here to read more about the effects of chronic anxiety. Click to learn more about finding your life path with Jane Rubin, Ph.D.