How do I know whether I’m an introvert or an extrovert? It can be confusing. If you enjoy social situations, you might think, “How can I be an introvert?” But if you spend time with your extroverted friends, you’ll find that they’re energized after spending time with other people, while you often feel the need to have some time for yourself in order to recharge. That’s the most important difference between introverts and extroverts. It’s not that introverts are necessarily shy. That’s a common misunderstanding. Introverts can enjoy social situations just as much as extroverts do. But, unlike extroverts, they find socializing draining and need time to regroup after they’ve spent time with other people.Can extroverts understand introverts and vice versa? I think they can, but it sometimes takes work because introverts and extroverts can experience things so differently. I think it’s often easy for an introvert to recognize when another introvert needs some down time. I think it’s more difficult for an extrovert who’s enjoying a social interaction to recognize when an introvert has had enough. If an extrovert is still having fun, they may have trouble understanding why their friend or partner is ready to leave the party.Similarly, I think introverts can have trouble understanding how extroverts can just keep going like the Energizer Bunny, and not need the kind of down time that they need. I think extroverted behavior often feels mysterious to introverts. They don’t understand how someone can just keep going and, if anything, become more energized the more they’re engaging with other people.There has been a lot of attention paid to it this issue recently. Susan Cain’s book, “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” was a New York Times best seller. “ I think there’s attention to this issue because in our current culture, where there is such a demand to be available to other people all the time — on our phones, on email, by text, by Facebook and Twitter and so on — introverts, who are already a minority (about 25 percent of the population) feel out of step. Not too long ago, people couldn’t assume that we had a phone with us at all times. If they called us, they left a message on our answering machines and they had no idea when we got it. Now people can reach us all the time, and they often expect an immediate response when they do. People who are introverted can start to wonder why they have difficulty keeping up with what they experience as a constant demand to interact. At the same time, extroverts can become frustrated if their introverted friends don’t immediately respond to their texts, or aren’t constantly on Facebook.Is there a difference in how happy an extrovert is compared to an introvert? Not at all. Happiness really depends on being true to who you are. Introverts who feel that they need to be extroverts to survive in this culture can certainly feel unhappy. But our current culture can also provide new opportunities for introverts to manage their lives in ways that feel better to them. When you’re feeling a little depleted, it’s easier to respond to an email or a text than to have a 20-minute phone call. And I think we all know introverts (and, for that matter, probably a lot of extroverts, too) who use their headphones to shut out the world when they need a break. These are just some of the ways in which technology can actually be used to the advantage of introverts.Who makes a better friend or spouse? I don’t think either one is better at being a friend or spouse. Sometimes opposites really do attract. Two introverts may understand each other, but feel the need for more excitement from their partner. Extroverts can enjoy having an introverted partner who really listens to them, and can stay focused on them without getting distracted. And in friendships, I think we often seek out people who are different from us because they give us something we can’t provide for ourselves.Click to learn more about finding your life path with Jane Rubin, Ph.D.