Have you tried using mindfulness techniques, such as breathing exercises or meditation, to help with your anxiety? Is it working or do you believe something is missing? Although mindfulness has its benefits, by itself, it’s not always an effective treatment for anxiety.
Why Isn’t Mindfulness a “Magic Bullet” Treatment for Anxiety?
Let’s keep in mind that mindfulness can offer some help for those struggling with anxiety. For example, if you are feeling anxious about giving a presentation to a room full of your colleagues, practicing mindful breathing can be really helpful. Not only is the extra oxygen useful for your brain, mindfulness also allows you to take a step back and get some perspective on the situation.Mindfulness is not useful when your anxiety is the result of trauma. It’s just not enough. We usually think of trauma as originating from a painful experience. However, research shows that trauma is actually a two-step process:
A painful experience.
How other people responded to that experience.
How Does This Happen?
Let’s use the example of a child who has gone through a difficult experience and the response from their parent. The child experiences the death of a close relative. The loss of a loved one can be difficult. However, if the child has parents who are empathic—who allow their child to talk about her feelings and validate them-- that child will have had a painful experience but not a traumatic one.On the other hand, if parents tell their child to “suck it up” and refuse the child space to feel her feelings and to talk about them, problems occur. The child won’t feel safe talking to her parents. It will feel too dangerous to experience his or her painful feelings. The only option left, psychologically, is for the child to not feel those emotions at all. This can, in turn, become the source of anxiety later on in life. Every time we’re in a situation that reminds us of a painful situation from the past and threatens to bring up feelings we’ve buried, we’ll become anxious. And, because the feelings we weren’t allowed to feel are unconscious, we won’t know why we’re anxious or how to manage our anxiety.
It Sounds Like Parents Play a Big Role in This...
Yes! Most of us first learn to understand and manage our feelings in our families. Parents who were not allowed a full range of emotional expression by their parents often can’t help their children understand their emotions.Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon occurrence in our society. Children will grow up into adulthood and my not even realize that there is a problem. It’s simply how things have always been their whole lives and they know nothing else. When these clients come to see me, they certainly don’t realize that their anxiety is actually connected to experiences they have had as children.
How Does Therapy Help?
Therapy makes a big difference for these clients. Over time, they begin to understand what happened to them as children and begin “connecting the dots.” When they begin to discuss their feelings and emotions and receive an empathic response instead of judgment or humiliation, all kind of doors open up. Once their feelings don’t feel so dangerous, their anxiety diminishes significantly.Although it’s a useful tool, mindfulness alone cannot be the sole treatment for anxiety. This is especially true for those who have anxiety due to trauma. These people need to feel emotionally safe before they even begin to talk about their past and their feelings. Participating in therapy with an empathic and caring counselor will allow these individuals to feel that safety so that they can begin the healing process.Click here to learn more about treatment for anxiety with Dr. Jane Rubin.Jane Rubin, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist in Berkeley, California. She works with individuals in Berkeley, Oakland, the East Bay and the greater San Francisco Bay Area who are struggling with depression and anxiety. She also specializes in working with people who are trying to find meaning and direction in their lives.