What is the Concept of a Fixed Idea?
There can be several obstacles that get in the way of finding your life’s purpose. One of those is being fixated on a specific idea or outcome. Dr. Jan Rubin, Ph.D., helps us to better understand this barrier to finding your life’s purpose, and what to do about it.
A fixed idea is all about what someone wants to do with their life, but they are very hyper-focused on that outcome. This creates problems when things don’t work out as they expected. I believe that the way you approach this in therapy is different than other kinds of obstacles to one’s life purpose.
In my experience, it takes some kind of existential crisis for people to abandon a fixed idea. For example, if someone is really attached to being an actor or musician, it can be really, really difficult to give up on that idea. That’s because you have to have a strong desire to do something where the odds are so much against you.
This applies to people in fields where the numbers are against you being successful. For instance, when there are so few jobs but so many people who want them. To set yourself on that course you have to really want it.
How Have You Observed a Fixed Idea?
I know several people in my life who, when they were young, wanted to be actors. However, along the way, they realized that it wasn’t going to happen. This realization helped to direct them towards other ideas and pursuits that they decided to try. But often, being solely focused on something that you say “This is what I have to do,” doesn’t end well at all.
I feel it’s an identity issue. If you can’t be that one thing, then there isn’t anything else that expresses who you are. This creates a very narrow pathway with a “do or die” attitude. Nothing else can be satisfying other than this one particular thing. Thus, people keep going at it, no matter what. However, in my experience by the time these people reach their early to mid-thirties they have that existential crisis. It’s when they realize that their dream isn’t going to become a reality.
In Which Ways Can Therapy Help?
Therapy can help in the following ways:
Dealing with the grief that what they cared about isn’t going to be realized, and coping with that loss. Others will say to “move on,” which isn’t very helpful. Therapy can address the pain of having set a goal but realizing that it won’t happen by having someone be emotionally available to allow these people to grieve.
Grappling with issues surrounding identity. This is a real struggle for most people who thought they had determined their life’s purpose. If somebody’s identity was defined by one thing, yet that doesn’t become a reality, who is that person now? Therapy can help these people to figure it out and understand that they can take what they wanted to do and transition to something else.
Helping people to maintain hope. It may be hard at first to contemplate. Yet, I have seen people take this loss and do something else with their lives and realize, in the end, that things worked out. When people are hyper-focused on a fixed idea, they have their blinders on. This prevents them from seeing all of the options available to them. Therapy can remove those blinders to help people see all the potential paths.
It Seems That Therapy Helps People Create a Broader Definition of Who They Are
Yes, a lot of skills and talents can be used in other areas. But also, we are more than just our skills and talents. Therapy can help these people broaden how they define themselves beyond their careers. This helps to create a more well-rounded person with a healthier outlook on life.
Click to learn more about finding your life path with Jane Rubin, Ph.D.
Jane Rubin, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist in Berkeley, California. She works with individuals in Berkeley, Oakland, the East Bay and the greater San Francisco Bay Area who are struggling with depression and anxiety. She also specializes in working with people who are trying to find meaning and direction in their lives.