How can a lack of self-confidence keep you from finding your direction in life? When you lack self-confidence, it’s easy to believe that you’re never going to be good at anything—even things that really matter to you. If you don’t feel that you can be good at something, finding a direction that feels right to you can seem hopeless from the start. What’s the point of doing something, if you know you can’t succeed at it?Low self-confidence can prevent you from accurately assessing your skills and abilities. It can lead you to believe that you’ll never be good enough to do anything. When this happens, it’s easy to become stuck in self-criticism that prevents you from even asking yourself what you’d like to do with your life.How can you start to find your life path when you have really low self-confidence?People who are struggling with low self-confidence often believe that they can’t even begin to think about their life path until they feel more confident. But this can become a self-defeating belief. Often, the only way to become more confident, is to go out and do something you think you would like, so you can demonstrate your abilities to yourself and others. Sometimes “just do it” is an important part of the process of finding your direction in life.On the other hand, the “just do it” approach doesn’t always work. If you’re feeling really stuck, therapy can be essential to the process of getting your life back on track. Working with someone who wants to help you feel better, by helping you get a different perspective on yourself, can make the difference between having a robust sense of self-confidence or continuing to feel stuck in negative, paralyzing self-judgments.Is there a way to reduce the risk of putting yourself out there?There are always risks involved in finding your direction in life, and doing something that is truly meaningful to you. There will always be situations in which we worry that we won’t be good enough, or won’t get enough support, or won’t be able to make a living. Those risks are inherent parts of committing ourselves to doing something that matters to us.But issues with self-confidence can also often be tied up with issues of shame. Shame leads you to believe that the reason you can’t succeed is that there’s something really wrong with you. When you’re suffering under the weight of shame, it’s easy to believe that putting yourself out there is too big a risk because whatever is wrong with you will be exposed, and the shame will feel intolerable.If low self-confidence is leading you to feel that things will never work out for you, therapy can make the difference between despair and hope. While we can’t eliminate all risks, we can help make them tolerable enough for you to take the steps that will allow you to find your life direction.If you’re struggling with self-confidence and finding your life path, is it possible you’re looking in the wrong place or are trying to fit into a box that isn’t you? Absolutely. In the Bay Area, for example, I often meet people who are convinced that in order to be successful, they need to work in the tech industry. They’re not interested in or good at coding, but they feel like second class citizens, so they force themselves to do jobs they hate. Often, therapy involves helping them figure out what they really like, and finding the confidence to do it.It feels tragic to me when people who genuinely have other options feel condemned to spend their lives doing something that makes them miserable. My job is to help them gain the confidence to know that there are other options. Click to learn more about finding your life path with Jane Rubin, Ph.D.